If you’re single you’ve probably wondered: If other people find the perfect match, and other people seem to have successful relationships, why am I not lucky in love? 

The truth is; love has nothing to do with luck.

   Yes, some people do stumble across the right mate, and have happy marriages. Yet, when we look around us we realize that this is the exception rather than the norm. Otherwise 50% of first marriages wouldn’t fail and close to 70% of second go -rounders wouldn’t be facing the same disastrous results.

If you are serious about wanting a great relationship there are 3 key concepts you need to have:

1. Know Yourself: Put aside the shopping list of what you want in a mate for a while. Do you have a clear vision for your life and lifestyle? What are you hobbies, and interests? What are your values, Requirements, Needs and Wants?

Try this exercise: With paper and pen in hand, Imagine your perfect day. You could be at work, at home, or at play. It could be a holiday, or any day. Allow your mind to drift into that perfect place. Where are you? What is around you? What do your surroundings look, smell, feel, sound, and taste like? Who is around you? With you? Who are they? What is noticeable about their personalities, interactions, style? What are they doing? What are you doing? Write down your day in as much detail as you can. What do you realize as you read about your perfect day? What is different about you? What is the same?

2. You Need to Be What You Want Your Partner to Be. The Law of Attraction can only work if you do your part. Remember we are co-creators. Wishing won’t do it, awareness will.

 If you want someone who communicates their hopes, dreams, wants and needs ask yourself how well you communicate yours. Do you want someone to be patient and thoughtful? How patient are you? When an elderly woman is taking a while in front of you in the check -out line, do you wait patiently or generously move to another line; or do you go huffing off, complaining the whole time?  Do you remember that Anne’s mom was in the hospital; John’s son won that scholarship. How well do you acknowledge and support them?

3. Be to yourself what you want your significant other to be to you. Be your own best friend.

If you want someone who will treat you well ask yourself how well you treat yourself. You may want someone to go to the theatre or movies, hiking or to the beach with you. Are you waiting to be rescued or do you create these experiences for yourself, by yourself or with friends? 

If you’re waiting for someone to stand up to others for you, ask yourself; How clear are my boundaries? How well do I communicate them? Do I honor and uphold them?

 

While you are creating the perfect conditions for finding the right mate you will be developing inner resiliency and strength as you create a life filled with joy and delight.