Flowers! Lovely. Chocolates! Delicious. Presence! Perfect.

Creating developing and sustaining healthy relationships takes a practice: the consistent, continuous activity of our conscious desire: our PRESENCE.

Flowers, candy, jewelry gifts of every kind are ways we materially ‘show’ our loved one that they are special and how much we care for them. While these are thoroughly enjoyable gestures of affection, they can’t replace being emotional attuned to our partner/spouse.

Presence has a remarkably profound influence on the relationship yet is amazingly simple. One way to be present is to listen with curiosity and compassion. This means just that … just listen. Active listening does not happen when you are trying to fix, explain, cajole, or analyze. There are times when no magic words, or practical solutions will help.

Active listening happens and offers up the gift of our presence when we make eye contact, let ourselves be immersed in our lover’s words, express in actions, like authentic empathic nods and words that reflect back our partners’ feelings so that they can see that we are listening and truly care.

We all want to be seen and heard. It is in our closest relationships where we seek the comfort of being accepted and understood. The welcoming safety of this kind of relationship let’s us be our most open and vulnerable selves. When we’re attentively heard we feel less alone in our struggles and more deeply feel our joys when they are shared at this degree of emotional attunement.

Self Inquiry:

  • How can you be more emotionally present for your spouse/partner?
  • What are your blocks to deepening your emotional presence for your partner?
  • How do you need your partner to be emotionally present for you?

Happy Valentine’s Day,

♥ Rev Carol