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INSPIRED BLOG

Mental Housekeeping to Reduce Stress

We all go through periods of time when we feel overwhelmed and have trouble focusing on what to do in our lives. When you finish this exercise you will likely have a lot more energy and feel more focused, less stress and more alive.

  1. Do a Mental “Mind Dump” onto Paper

Have a notebook or a stack of paper on hand. Create a list of everything you’ve been holding in your mind. This includes your mental ‘to do’ list, your dreams of the things you’d like to do, become, experience, or acquire ( Yes, from your earliest memories)

Do you want to travel, learn to dance, etc. )

What would you like to change in your life? Would you like to find your soulmate; Up the level of romance in your relationship; Find ways to create harmony and communication within your family?

  1. Sort Through Your List

Now go through your list and sort your items into the 3 following categories.

  • To Do: Things you absolutely plan to take steps towards in the next 6 months.

( Transfer them to your official TO DO LIST, and mark the top 10 on which you plan to take action. Give each a starting date.

  • Someday or Maybe: These are the things you would like to do sometime in the future. Use these to start your ‘Someday/Wish List for future reference.
  • Accomplished or Dropped: These are the things you consider to be complete or resolved enough to drop. As you review you may decide that there are things that are no longer desirable anymore. Cross these off your list and consider them ‘done’.
  1. FRESH START

When you are done, shred or bur your original list as a way of releasing those old things that you no longer choose to hold in your mind. (A ritual of release is always meaningful) . This exercise frees up a great deal of mental energy that you were using to hold onto your mental “to do’s”- energy that will now be available to you for your new direction.

By |August 9th, 2016|Anxiety, Uncategorized|0 Comments|
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Spring Blossoms and Love Blooms

The days are getting longer. Sunlight is pushing away the long dark days of winter. It is the time of the Vernal Equinox when night and day are nearly the same length and corresponds to the center of the Sun crossing the celestial equator moving northward.

The time is one of balance between night and day, light and dark.

It’s also the perfect time to consider what goals or wishes you would like to achieve over the next year. The time is right for spring planting; manifesting, achieving new or uncompleted goals, wishes and desires. It is a time for all that is new and possible.

Of course, just as we get the scent of fresh earth and spring flowers, we pick up the scent of love in the air, inviting us to follow it with our hearts. This is the perfect time for love relationships; to renew, rekindle or magnetize the one our heart desires.

Happy Planting. May your best loves and lives flourish!

By |March 21st, 2016|Uncategorized|0 Comments|
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The Procrastination Remedy – Free Community Workshop, Thursday 3/3/16

The Procrastination Remedy Flyer

By |February 25th, 2016|Anxiety, Procrastination, Workshops|0 Comments|
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The Difference between Love and ROMANCE

Love_Romantic_Beach_Couple

The difference between
Love and ROMANCE

_____________

 

Q. What’s the difference between Love and Romance?

A. Romance.

Love is a feeling. It is a profoundly tender, affectionate feeling for another person.
Romance means to court or woo with ardor. Romance is a verb; it means to take action, to energetically, creatively, and continuously express your love and woo your partner.

So, in order to continue to be in LOVE, you must have ROMANCE.

To Romance Your Partner you must give your partner and your relationship attention. You do this when you strive to be the best partner you can be by taking 100% responsibility for your outcomes in the relationship.

Each day you have opportunities to make your partner happy. It’s through everyday actions that you express your love and show the value you place on your relationship.

Do something every day to make your marriage the best marriage possible.

 

 

THE RELATIONSHIP JOURNAL

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The Relationship Journal, from The Relationship Coaching Institute, is one Strategy that can take your relationship from roommates to soul-mates, from expired to inspired.

The Relationship Journal will help you discover, communicate and address needs, issues and goals.

You can do this at home, on vacation, anytime and anywhere.

Here’s how this works.

Step 1: Purchase one or two blank books or spiral notebooks.

Step 2: Schedule at least 30 minutes for this process. Most couples find that a dedicated weekly Relationship Journaling Time works well. When there are more serious issues try three times a week or consult with a relationship coach.
Agree on a time and place.

Step 3: Don’t wait for your partner to remember or initiate. When the time comes, drop whatever else you are doing and create an “intimate space.” You must make your relationship your priority.

Step 4: Make your entry in the Relationship Journal. You can also write in your journal at any time as it occurs to you.
Do not read your partner’s entry
until you have finished yours.

Suggested Entry #1: What do you appreciate about your partner today?
Suggested Entry#2:
What issues are you aware of in your relationship today?
Suggested Entry#3: What needs can you identify that you are experiencing in your relationship today?
Suggested Entry #4:
What did you do today (or recently) to improve your relationship?
Suggested Entry #5: Reflect upon your last sexual experience and identify what you liked and what you want to do differently next time.

Step 5: When you are both finished, read each other’s entry. Ask clarifying question with compassionate curiosity.

Step 6: Start by acknowledging your partner’s appreciations, then make sure each issue has a matching need identified; if not, assist your partner to identify what unmet need is underlying their issue.

Step 7: Discuss the needs one by one. Negotiate. Brainstorm. Be open and flexible with your outcomes and find the win-win solution.

Step 8: Record agreements/solutions in your Relationship Journals.
✓ Positive      ✓ Measurable      ✓ Specific

  • All needs are valid.
  • Assume a solution exists & be creative!

Step 9: Keep all agreements!

Step 10: Create a Closing Ritual

 

Your relationship is a reflection of the time and attention you give to it and your partner.

Wishing you much love,
Coach Carol

Happy Valentine’s Day!

By |February 14th, 2016|Romance|0 Comments|
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Artist’s Way: 13-Week Workshop starting 1/20/16

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By |January 4th, 2016|Workshops|0 Comments|
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Invisible Journey: 6-Week Chronic Illness Workshop, starting 1/26/16

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By |January 4th, 2016|Workshops|0 Comments|
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Invisible Journey: Chronic Illness Support Group, starting 1/14/16

Invisible Journey Chronic Illness Spport Group Flyer

By |January 3rd, 2016|Workshops|0 Comments|
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Christmas Presence and Happy Holidays!

Christmas Presence
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Exchanging presents over the holidays brings delight to children of all ages. Gathering with family and friends reminds us that we are part of a caring circle.

But while the sparkle and excitement of the holidays eventually begins to fade there is one present that satisfies in more significant and lasting ways.

That’s the gift of presence.

When we give the gift of PRESENCE, we are giving of ourselves in ways that draw people to us and leave them with a sense of well being.  Being present means that we are not reacting to a present situation based on past events, or holding expectations for the future. Instead we are fully in each moment, particularly when it comes to being with someone we love. We show our presence, our full attention and caring, by listening deeply.

You might be asking, “What is deep listening?”, and exclaiming, “I listen!” The best way to explain Deep Listening is to first explain what it is NOT.

When we are not listening fully and deeply:

  • Our mind is on other things and we are only pretending to listen.
    Our mind may be wandering, we are preoccupied and distracted.
  • We don’t want to interact, but don’t want to say so.
    Presence means being in your truth. We hold back for fear of hurting someone else’s feelings or a fear of feeling rejection. Can you be available in this moment or do you need to claim this time for yourself?
  • We feel defensive.
    When we feel defensive, strong thoughts and stories are created that push away everything we are hearing instead of taking it in.
  • We feel obligated to fix or solve the other person’s story.
    When we feel overwhelmed with emotion or unable to help we block the other person’s story by interrupting or changing the subject.
  • Our emotions and memories are stimulated. 
    We have a need to share our own stories before noticing if we have met the other person’s need to be heard. When this happens you’ll hear yourself saying, “Yes, I know what you mean. Here’s what happened to me.”

A wonderful way to circumvent our defensiveness, emotions and old conversational habits is by learning to listen attentively and deeply.

Deep Listening

Deep listening means hearing beyond and below the spoken word. It means hearing the essence of what someone is saying, and noticing the feelings behind their words.
When you listen deeply, you are truly present with the other person. Your mind is free of past judgments or thoughts of the future. You can let go of beliefs and prejudices you may have about the other person. You’re not analyzing or figuring things out, you’re simply being present with the other person.

Deep listening has three benefits.

  • It’s calming because it brings us back to the present moment.
  • It leads to feelings of connection, loving-kindness and compassion.
  • It helps us to communicate and creates true understanding.

We become available to listening deeply to others when we have practiced listening deeply to ourselves and…

  • Take inventory of our life lessons
  • Break through our toxic emotions
  • Discover our unmet needs
  • Uncover unconscious patterns
  • Cultivate stillness
  • Release old stories
  • Lean into resistance

 

Wishing you Holiday Presence
from all your loved ones,
Rev. Carol

By |December 22nd, 2015|Being Present|0 Comments|
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Thanksgiving Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving!

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We generally think of Thanksgiving Day as a uniquely American tradition. In fact Thanksgivings have been celebrated throughout history. Every autumn, the ancient Greeks enjoyed a three-day festival to honor Demeter, the goddess of corn and grains. The Romans had a similar celebration in which they honored Ceres, the goddess of corn. (In fact that’s where the word cereal comes from!) The Chinese hold a harvest festival called Chung Ch’ui to celebrate the harvest moon, that dates its beginning back over 3000 years.

Thanksgiving is about taking a moment to stand in gratitude, and remembering (and giving thanks for) all the good in our lives.

This Thanksgiving, we can take a moment to expand our appreciation for all that nourishes and sustains us. The goodwill of a friend, the constancy of our lover, the sheer joy in a child’s laugh, the sight of a flock of birds, the way the clouds suddenly part to reveal a bright moon against a darkened sky, and the miracle of each and every breath.

There is infinite wonder in this world. Enjoy!

Make Everyday Thanksgiving by practicing Gratitude

There are many ways to practice gratitude and the benefits are endless. Check out this new article from CNN detailing why you might want to start your gratitude practice today!

3 everyday ways to practice gratitude for health and happiness

Gratitude over Flowers

 

 

Make a pact with yourself today, to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work, isn’t what you get for it, but what you become for it.
~ Steve Maraboli

 

By |November 26th, 2015|Gratitude|0 Comments|
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World Kindness Day

world_kindness_day_globe-c4a1e499e8238c103054f49e5bcadb14Today is World Kindness Day, Fri 11/13/15!

It’s not hard to make a difference in someone’s life. A little compassion goes a long way. Take time out of your day to hold open a door, give a compliment, or a hug when someone needs one.
For some more kind acts, visit:
https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-ideas
And remember, when we give to others, we also fuel our own souls.

 

Relationships have changed more in the past 30 years than they have in the past 3000.

Our needs have changed, our roles have changed, our expectations about the quality of our relationships have changed.

Yet the skills we bring to creating and sustaining a romantic partnership that meets our current needs are the skills we learned and grew up with.

These are skills that no longer work, if they ever did.

We’ve shifted, and now we need a new paradigm.

It is my delight to bring to you new insights and skills, ideas, information and inspiration. If you are dating, mating or creating and sustaining a relationship, this newsletter is for you.

You are the expert of you and your relationships. As you browse through the latest findings, insights and ideas here, pick and choose what works for you. Try something new, pass on this information to family and friends and if you need help, call me and we can schedule a time to talk.

How can you bring Intentional Kindness into your relationship?

  • Ask how your partner’s day was, even if you’re tired. Really listen to the answer.

  • Give a backrub, instead of requesting one. Tender touches show you care.

  • Do someone else’s chores for the day. Taking out the trash, doing the dishes or laundry without being asked will take some stress off your loved one, and show you are thinking of their well being.

  • Buy a card, pick a flower, or make something that lets your loved one know how important they are to you.

Kindness is a practice, just like any other. It get’s easier the more you do it.

Before you know it, you’ll be spreading kindness all over the place, into all aspects of your relationships, personal and professional. Then watch how it touches the lives of those around you, and comes back tenfold.

Remember how you felt in the early days of your romance, when you did something nice for your loved one. An act of kindness is a gift that goes both ways.

By |November 13th, 2015|Kindness, Romance|0 Comments|
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